Survivor's Guilt

I was with my sister this week and we were talking about parenting Charlotte. She said to me that sometimes she feels bad that she has four healthy children (and I don't). Just acknowledging the thought was enough to make my negative thoughts (and I have had some in the past) evaporate. It's amazing how powerful words can be.

I replied that I don't begrudge other parents their healthy children, and I realised I really don't. No family is perfect, no child is perfect, and we are all just muddling through as best we can. We love Charlotte and love having her in our lives. The only reason we would wish things were any other way would be for her sake, not ours.

Outdoor progress

What do you know? Charlotte really likes being outside! She takes our hands and leads us outside. And it's really, really bright out there right now. She is particularly fond of pacing up and down one particular corridor of decking, complete with step, which she loves to navigate.

She seems to be enjoying her Noir sunnies too. After losing two pairs of sunglasses in two days, she is having to get used to two new pairs at the same time. (By losing, I mean tossing out of the pram while I wasn't looking.) Very upsetting but as long as the 50 pound + Noirs don't go the same way, we'll be ok.

I'm delighted that she is enjoying being outdoors, with or without vision. Just a few days ago, we went outside and she had her first barefoot walk and she hated it! My little tenderfoot English children!

Why do I work?

Good question. How about this one: Why are our children the most precious things in the world to us; the things we love more than everything and yet, sometimes (often even) we can't wait to get away from them and do something else? And then we miss them terribly.

I like to work because I like:
-talking to grown ups about things that have nothing to do with children (even if we don't always talk about very grown up things)
-reading whatever I want on the tube for 20 minutes, twice a day, 3 times per week
-having an excuse to wear makeup
-having a place to wear high heels
-carrying a handbag that has only my things in it
-having a reason to wear clothes that would pick up lint if I sat on the carpet
-having a to-do list that does not include "unloading the dishwasher"
-completing at least some of the items on said to-do list
-making money
-feeling productive
-expanding my horizons
-increasing my knowledge
-interacting with people of different ages and in different stages of life
-disagreeing with people who can properly express why they want something different from me (sometimes)
-having some quiet in my day
-sitting down for 8 hours a day
-appreciating the fact that a bad day at work or a bad day at home is fleeting because tomorrow I will be in a different environment
-knowing that I could support my family if I had to