The rollercoaster

Why do I always feel down and depressed when mail about Charlotte comes in? I eagerly await referral letters and new appointment letters but then feel terrible when they arrive. Is it because the mail is a good distraction from her condition and gives me the feeling that I am doing something? Then when the mail comes and nothing changes, I go back to feeling helpless and useless.

Today, it was ridiculous, I got a consultation letter that I was in the room during the dictation of and I still felt sad afterwards. During the actual appointment, I felt good, positive. I don't know. Maybe today it was because it came on top of a playdate outing in a particularly sunny room which I felt was hard on Charlotte and she didn't enjoy it. I know this for sure because she nodded off to sleep during it. She does that when the lighting is too bright for her.

We are still waiting to see the Optometrist and I am hopeful that contact lenses will help Charlotte get the lighting to the optimal level for her. The woman is still on holiday.

I'm also feeling down about Emily's pigeon toes, I don't think that they are improving, it seems as though they are getting worse. Particularly when she has poor fitting shoes on like wellies or crocs, she walks as though she has a club foot. I'm going back to the GP and asking for an Orthopedic referral.